Infant Sorrow and Infant Joy
by No Fate 1990
Summary: This story takes place during the movie, "The Legend of Tarzan". This story covers John and Jane's miscarriage all the way to the birth of their son, George. They have a daughter named Raven later on.
1. Empty Carriage

John (aka Tarzan) p.o.v

An empty carriage

Miscarriage

Indigo blue fumes

Streaming blood drops

Screaming out loud why?

A scarlet rose

Damsel in distress

Victim of circumstance

Eventual lost hopeless cause

Random false positive tests

Staggering vital signs of life

Impossible goals

This woman's work

Your secret deep longing

One incredible extensive nine month journey

Unimaginable great travail

The birthing process


	2. Baby Fantasy

Jane's p.o.v (before and after George's birth)

Beautiful baby blue moon

Ravenous beauty

I consider your life to be a miracle

Even if the odds are stacked up against you, I have hope for the future

Forever is promised to us or maybe not

A very tight knot, you tie around my heart

Nine months fly by really fast

Take flight if you want to

A long difficult labor and delivery unlocks and reopens the red door

Scarlet threads connect the dots

Yesterday fades away along with my doubt and fear

Love remains an universal language

Unfathomable is how much you mean to many people including me

Making dreams and memories from dust, joy brings out the best in us


	3. Our Little Raven

**Time Period: John's flashback (Before Raven's birth)**

As usual, my concerns grows as big as Jane's stomach. I have reminded her to take it easy numerous times. I was this way when she was carrying George. According to my

father's journal, my mother died giving birth to me. I fear Jane might share the same fate. Jane keeps on assuring me that everything will be fine. "I predict our baby will be a

girl. We should create a name for her" Jane suggests one day while preparing for the baby's arrival. Seven year old George chases a raven into the cabin by which gives me an

idea. "We should name her raven" I share with Jane. "I love the name raven" Jane agrees.

* * *

 **Time Period: Jane's flash forward (the day of Raven's birth)**

Painful and intense, my labor started in the early morning hours. John laid with me and held me tight until a midwife was called forth. She sent John and George away from the

cabin. Although I missed them, they were better off elsewhere. I knew the men of the village would keep them company. Unlike my previous experience, Raven's birth went

smoothly. John and George were over the moon about her.


	4. Noble Humbleness

Raven's p.o.v (She is ten years old)

Noble humbleness

Outstanding intelligence

Blossoming maturity

Large orange shaped heart

Endless mysticism

Satin velvet chocolate rose

Storybook magic

Enchanted love spell

Deep blue sea of possibilities


	5. Yearning For Elsewhere

George's p.o.v (He is 17 years old)

Yearning for elsewhere

Even though you have promised to stay put

A new different wind calls your name today

Remember me along the way to your next destination

Nevertheless, I am a distant thought and memory

I will never forget or neglect our history

Right on time, the truth exposes everything about you

Vapor, you become before me tonight

A cloud of mystery surrounds the future

Now is the perfect moment to ask why or to blow up sky high

Adrift and at peace elsewhere, you discover freedom and embrace your true calling


	6. Enchanting Surprise

Raven's p.o.v

An enchanting surprise, jungle fever.

You care enough to join me on this magical

journey. Forever feels like a silent holy night

for us. We forget about our misery for once.

Dance with me to the end of this fairytale

story if you must. Numerous dust particles,

what ifs skip a heartbeat.


	7. Thrice The Charm

Jane's p.o.v

I enjoy reading to children especially Raven and her friends. They make me feel young again. Their

curiosity increases my ethusiasm. Nauseous, I leave the housemaid in charge of them for a little

bit. Nobody knows I am pregnant again. I wanted it to be a surprise for them. By the time I return

to my post, Raven's friends have left. Raven wonders why I have been gone for long. I confess I am

pregnant and she is thrilled. John and George overhear us. They are over the moon about the

new baby.


	8. Hanging, Holding onto Hope

George's p.o.v

These past twelve nine months have had us on edge.

I am hanging, holding onto hope. I wonder wherever

do you find the strength to cope with issues, especially the

heartbreaking kind? These past nine months have had you

on edge. I am not blind to the fact that you are experiencing

the baby blues. You are barely hanging, holding

onto hope.


	9. Enormous Hard Work

Jane's p.o.v

Enormous hard work, bringing a nine month dream to life.

My faith swims in a lake of blood and water. I wonder if

my sacrifice will count and matter in the end? My cries

and screams search heaven for relief. I want to believe

things will get better soon.


	10. No Name Entity

John's p.o.v

Exhausted, Jane collapses in my arms. She endured a difficult long labor and delivery process. We

hold our breath waiting for our baby's first cry. The midwife announces the baby is a stillborn and

our spirits are crushed. God feels far away. Longing for answers, Raven and George enter the room

where we struggle to give our grief a name.

.


	11. Dove Spirit

Jane's p.o.v

Dove Spirit

A beloved baby angel

Never ever going to know or feel my love

Christ carries you home to heaven

Even now you remain unforgettable


	12. OH, Not Again!

Jane's p.o.v 

I am pregnant, oh, not again! I blame my missed period for this. In the mist of grieving our stillborn, John and I made love. As always, we were foolish and careless. I didn't

think a fourth pregnancy was possible. I haven't told nobody about the baby so far. They are still grieving over our lost family member. Unlike previous times, morning sickness

has been constant and severe. I believe I am carrying twins. I will keep silent until otherwise.


	13. Nine Month Odyssey

John's p.o.v

Slippery slope

An unintended nine month odyssey

Life growing inside the womb

Extremely precious bundle of joy

One life-altering enjoyable experience

Nighttime relief

One bittersweet symphony

Bewilderment

One gigantic family tree

Daily irony

Your soft childlike heart

Steadfast faith

Silent resilience

Essential tall pillar of strength

Your immeasurable deep love


	14. Ectopic Dream

George's p.o.v

Breaking dawn, a touch of pure magic,

romantic angst. An ectopic dream, a

stomach full of heartache. A sort of

traumatic pregnancy, a tragic legacy,

your silent poetic symphony. Indestructible,

halo blinding walls separate us. I can't

ignore these warning signs because

I have been in this dark state of mind

before. Your twin soulmate picks up

the pieces that you leave behind.


	15. Adorable Amazing Jeremiah

Raven's p.o.v

"You can come into the room now" father instructs George and me. While mother was giving birth to our brother, we had been waiting in the hallway. Thankfully, we were able

to reach this monumental milestone. Originally, mother carried twins. One of the twins, a girl named Grace died as the result of a heterotopic pregnancy. According to the

doctor, a heterotopic pregnancy occurs when one twin grows in the uterus. The other twin is an ectopic pregnancy which can damage the fallopian tubes. Grace had developed

in mother's fallopian tubes. I miss her, but I am happy to embrace Jeremiah right now. My brother, Jeremiah Isaac Clayton is so adorable and amazing.


	16. The Jungle Inside My Mind

Jeremiah's p.o.v (as an eight year old child)

Life is a beast of a forest for me. We collide

like stars in the night sky. You promise the

best is still yet to come. I am able

to maneuver around the jungle inside my

mind with your help. Watch me do a backflip

if you wish.


	17. Infinite sunrises and sunsets

John's p.o.v

Infinite sunrises and sunsets describes my

bottomless ocean of thoughts. Hope

approaches me like a newborn fawn

that is struggling to walk. We talk

all day and night. Right now is

the perfect moment to unburden

you of any unnecessary weight.

Infinite sunrises and sunsets

describes your numerous pretty

smiles.


	18. Minor Hole In The World

Jane's p.o.v

Submerged unfathomable H20

Uncounted for huge tidal waves

Bloodshot eyes

Many missed sunrises and sunsets

Earthbound silence

Resounding joy

God's merciful grace

Echoes of a safe warm place

Dancing embers and sparks

Reminders of your brief existence

Enchanted magic

A vacant empty space

Minor hole in the world


	19. Enjoy The Fall

George's p.o.v

Enjoy the Fall

Flowers of Autumn

Faded jaded glory

Our distorted reality

Red flags

These inevitable unavoidable warning signs

Ever-changing weather patterns

My bad omen, an unwanted miscarriage of justice

Partially complete flawless wholesome image

Estranged beautiful familiarity

Repetitive brutality

Inconceivable notions

Senseless meaningless irony

Hidden undisclosed motives of yours

Inaudible bittersweet symphony, your silent cries for help

Freewill is a gift that I can't steal from you

Take me as I am and I won't judge you at all

Even in old age, we are compassionate and respectful toward each other

Dreamlessly floating through the air, wherever shall this bumpy road of life lead us?


	20. An Extended Long Pregnant Pause

Abigail's p.o.v (she is Jeremiah's nanny that is heavily pregnant with a dying man's baby)

An extended long pregnant pause

My life at a standstill

An very unfortunate circumstance

Your declining health


	21. Near or Distant

Raven's p.o.v 

Horselike feet

One incredible fast moving heartbeat

Reaching for the stars

Success follows you everywhere

Even if you experience failure, you will stay hopeful

A silent prayer from my heart to yours is a long embrace

Linger around for another day if you want to

I offer you my support and assistance

Keep me in your thoughts and I shall remember you always

Even if you are near or distant

Every good deed counts

Passing through unnoticeably, you are like a flash of lighting


	22. Definitely Worth It

Jane's p.o.v

Definitely worth it

Expressing how I feel

Fade way, doubt and distrust

I want to let you know how much I care about you

Now or tomorrow, I'll shout out I love you

I work hard and eat the fruit of my labor

Take it easy

Eyes of a future yet to be born

My muse, a daily source of inspiration, you are definitely worth it


	23. Annabelle

John's p.o.v

While heading home from a congressional meeting, my wagon drove pass Abigail. Abigail

was my housemaid and Jeremiah's nanny. She was loaded down with grocery bags and a

gigantic pregnant belly. Nobody cared she was tired and kept on losing her balance. She appeared

to be in labor to me. I demanded for the driver to stop the wagon immediately. Abigail was

very thankful for my help. If she stayed on the street much longer, she would've fainted and

died. God had other plans for Abigail and her baby. The labor progressed so fast that the baby

was delivered at my house. Since Abigail was a negro, she couldn't go to the hospital because she

would've been rejected. Jane and our dear friend Dr. George assisted Abigail with the birth.

Abigail sacrificed her life for her daughter Annabelle. Jane and I loved Annabelle so much

that we adopted her.


	24. We are a family no matter what

Time Period: A Flashback

Jane's p.o.v

Distraught, John and a laboring pregnant Abby storm through the front door. Heavy rain and

thunder prophesy trouble is up ahead for us. Abby awaits her baby's upstairs in the guest room.

John didn't take her to the hospital because she wouldn't receive treatment there. Thankfully,

our dear friend Dr. George is available. George and I support Abby through the difficult

birthing process. Abby sacrificed her life for her daughter named Annabelle.

* * *

Time Period: The Present Reality

Jane's p.o.v

Once again, here we are at Abby's gravesite. "Women dying in childbirth; this was what I feared the

most" John confides in me. Our newly adopted daughter, Annabelle grows restless in my arms.

"We are a family no matter what" I assure my husband.


	25. Now and again, I think about you

John's p.o.v

Now and again, I think about you

OH, How you loved and cherished life!

What if you never sacrificed yourself?

Heaven needed you more than me in the end

Even if you were out of luck and time, I was your friend

Now and again, I think about you

Visions of what could've been have now become a reality

You are Serenity in this dark cold world of mine


	26. Exceptionally Different New Kind of Love

Jane's p.o.v

"Ma'am, what are you doing with that negro child?" the store cashier asked me. "Her name is

Annabelle and she is my daughter. My husband and I adopted her" I explained. "Negros have their

place in society. Your husband had an affair with the housemaid. I admire you for taking care of

his lovechild" the cashier assumed. John and Abigail didn't have an affair. Abigail split her time

between us and her dying sick husband who was Annabelle's father. Who knew she would die

giving birth and join him in Heaven? I was livid, but I kept silent for Annabelle's sake. Innocent,

my five year old daughter deserved much better. We hurried home with our groceries before

the cashier made more rude remarks about her. I shared my grief and frustration with John.


	27. We will never know why and that is okay

Time Period: A Flashback

John's p.o.v

One chilly November morning, I heard a gentle knock on the front door. I answered the door and

Abigail walked in. "Abby, you are super late. It is not normal for you to be late. What is the matter?" I

brought to her attention. "Master Clayton, I don't feel well" nauseous, Abigail complained rubbing

her stomach. "Abby, you are pregnant" I thought to myself. Suddenly, Abigail vomits in front of me.

Right on cue, Jane rushed to help her. Jane had been pregnant before so she knew what was going

on with Abby. Abby made a quick full recovery all thanks to my wife. Right up to delivery, she

juggled the demands of her sick husband who was the baby's father and the Clayton household.

I felt a little guilty for making her work throughout the pregnancy and her husband's death.

* * *

Time Period: The Present Reality

"John, Annabelle and I went to the local market. The store cashier called our daughter a negro. He

assumed you had an affair with the housemaid" Jane recounts. "The store cashier was totally

out of line. He doesn't know the truth" I console her. "Daddy, why did that man call me that n

word? What does that n word mean? Is it bad?" Curious, Annabelle questions me. "Some people

will not like us because we are different. We will never know why and that is okay" I explain to my

daughter.


	28. Her Toughest And Bravest Choice

John's p.o.v

Enduring a difficult pregnancy

X marks the spot where she passed on her legacy

Her toughest and bravest choice

A desire to make a positive difference


	29. A Mothers' Day To Cherish and Remember

Jane's p.o.v

My parents, George, and Raven join us for a fun fulfilling Mothers' Day. Everything that I have

ever needed and wanted is within my reach. John is in a solemn reflective mood. John remembers

his mother everyday especially today. She died giving birth to him. In the past, he worried I would

die in childbirth. Thankfully, our children and I survived the birthing process. Although I am super

duper happy right now, my heart bleeds for John and Annabelle. Their parents are dead and long

gone.


	30. Take Me Away From This Dark Place

John's p.o.v

Memories seep through my veins like blood

A not so good feeling is learning to live without you

Please take me away from this dark place

A not so good feeling is learning to face my greatest fear

Please take me away from this dark place

Always and forever, you will be here with me


	31. Every Discarded Little Brownie

Annabelle's p.o.v ( as a teenager)

Nortorious "N" words

Every discarded little brownie

An utter disgrace

These hardworking unpaid slaves

Every discarded little brownie

A true reflection of me

My African American ancestors


	32. A Face To Call Home

You got a face to call home -John Mayer, Song: A Face To Call Home

Annabelle's p.o.v

You got a face to call home. Nothing will ever be the same again. I am different from you, but you

still want me. Those gone before me made the ultimate sacrifice. I believe fate brought us together.

You got a face to call home.


	33. Maternal Love and Wisdom

Jane's p.o.v

An imaginary secret garden

Maternal love and wisdom

Endlessly drifting by me

Random beautiful smiles

Infinitely burning candles

Come and claim me

Adorable sweet child of mine


	34. You Can Not Change Who I Am

Time Period: A Flashback

Place: A Guest Bedroom in The Clayton Family Manor

Situation: Abigail dies giving birth to Annabelle

Jane's p.o.v

Painfully loud, Abby's screams travel throughout the house. I bet John and Jeremiah are shaking

in their boots. I am scared to death. I pray God may help Abigail and her baby. "This baby is

going to be the death of me" exhausted, Abby stresses. "Keep on pushing. You are making good

progress" my dear friend George encourages her. This motivates Abby to keep going. I admire her

strength and faith during this difficult time. Unfortunately, one life begins where another left off.

* * *

Time Period: The Present Reality

Jane's p.o.v

Recently, Annabelle has taken great interest in her family history. I have found and shared with her

a letter that Abby wrote on the day she died. "I am a negro. You can not change who I am" AB

reminds me often.


	35. Only She Knows Where Her Final Stop is

Jane's p.o.v

Wandering high and low for a place to call her home

Only she knows where her final stop is


	36. Death is not the end for there is hope

John's p.o.v

Death is not the end for there is hope.

Pieces of you float in the air.

No matter how far long gone you are,

I will remember you.


	37. Even Now She's not that much Far Removed

Jane's p.o.v

Resting peacefully and comfortably inside my mind

Even now she's not that much far removed

Smiling in the sun

Time recaptures her youthful beauty


	38. Heading in a new direction

Annabelle's p.o.v

Heading in a new direction, it is for the best. God knows all the things that you couldn't off your

chest in your final swansong. Heading in a new direction, I am bound to go west.


	39. We are not that much different

Jane's p.o.v

Climbing over mountains and trees

Only time knows if we will ever lose our balance or patience

We are not that much different


	40. Keep Him and Her in mind always

Annabelle's p.o.v

Moving in the same direction as the wind,

I will keep him and her in mind always.

I must find a way to connect our past,

present, and future.


	41. She wanted to see the world for herself

John's p.o.v

Even when her voice was lost in the wind,

she wanted to see the world for herself.

The lord took good care of her in my absence.


	42. She Chose Her Own Path and Fate

Jane's p.o.v

She was as sweet as tea.

She was my pretty precious angel.

Anywhere she laid her head was good

enough for as long as she chose her own

path and fate.


	43. The First and Last Lost Legacy

John's p.o.v

The first and last lost legacy

Your most valuable treasure

Love that has been sent from heaven above

Escaping with my heart

A cute little baby that has grown into amazing human being

Hope


	44. To Be Loved, But Still There's No Time

Time Period: A Flashback

Event: A Family and Friends' Day Celebration at The Clayton Manor

Situation: John meets Abby's dying husband, Robert aka Bobby for the first time

John's p.o.v

A jolly Abby and her husband approach me in the courtyard. "Master Clayton, my name is Robert.

You can call me Bobby for short. I am Abby's husband" Abby's husband introduces himself. I am not

afraid to shake his hand and vice versa. Abby leaves us alone to talk. "I am dying. Abby is expecting

our first child. Please look after my family in my absence" Bobby requests. "I will look after Abby

and the baby in your absence" I vow. "Mr. Clayton, you are a good man. I trust you" Bobby praises

me. "Please call me John" I suggest.


	45. I Will Remember You Like A Song

John's p.o.v

Long ago, you traveled nonstop until you were completely gone.

Only God knows why and how you endured this journey alone.

I will remember you like a song.


End file.
